2011 coming to a close

Today is the last work day for me for 2011. As I walked into the building today I thought about the year and not just here (work) but, every aspect. I am ready for the year to be over. I keep trying to stay positive and hopeful that all this will soon be over and RIGHT now I am beaten down.
I am feeling very lost, confused, and so unsure of what I am supposed to do. I feel like everything I have done, been doing, and think I should be doing is wrong as my life stays stagnant in the muddy water.

I am tired. I am depressed. I am feeling I have lost myself and the love I truly have to live my life devoted to my family and God.

I know this human world is full of ups and downs. I know I should cast all my worries until the Lord and he will see me through. I am still here on this Earth and I know when my time comes I will be with God for eternity.
But, it would be a lie if I said that was enough right now. How sad is that. The ultimate is not enough. I don't know how to find the place where I can cope, and be ok with all this crud of daily human life.
I try but in the end I come out exactly like this. Sad, Worried, and feeling Alone.

My 2012 is going to be a huge journey. One where I try to figure this out. I am tired of This and I want something different.
I just don't know how to do this without losing part of who I am.
I am the one that constantly puts myself last and is always there to encourage and help others. This has always been my weakness and people know this and take advantage of it. Lately I have pulled away and stopped being that and I think that is part of why I feel SO horrible cause I am allowing things to change a part of who I am supposed to be.
I just need to find the balance of being me but, not allowing it to hurt me.